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So I posted that video the one that goes:
“ohhhh is your daughter just so shy?”
“no, she is actually just really thoughtful about when she decides to speak”
… and I understand people who made the argument that being shy isn’t bad (I agree, it isn’t always) but it is OFTEN used in a negative way (ask literally any introvert and they will have so many examples of times they have felt bad when being called shy…*I know not all of them but you get what I am saying..) I just think it is so unnecessary to place those labels on kids before they have even fully developed.. I mean so many kids will naturally grow out of it and some will work with their parents to understand it better but either way it just feels like something we should be more thoughtful about how we say that and when we say it.
People who act shy often are very thoughtful and observant individuals who have a lot of compassion. It is actually such a cool trait and I think there are a lot of perks from being quiet. I have found so many perks to being quiet and compassionate in the work place too.
I used to lack confidence because I knew I was quiet and also felt like I wasn’t smart enough to be talking to certain people. I always felt a bit silly talking to a CEO who graduated from Harvard .. having never graduated college myself. I had previously been given the advice “just act confident and pretend to know whatever they are talking about and you can find out after!” I found that to be horrible advice for myself .. I would get WAY too deep in conversations I know nothing about and then look like an idiot. I started saying “oh I am not familiar with that term can you please explain?” or simply “I don’t know what you mean by that” and I found that the people I was talking to also didn’t know things that I KNEW. Once I said I don’t know they also felt comfortable saying it. I felt insecure not knowing their fancy business terms but I knew more about influencers, marketing, hair, and building a community. Those are the things I thrive doing because I LOVE doing them. I am good at them and not everyone is so I started to feel confident knowing it is okay to say “I don’t know” because we aren’t all meant to know everything. I also think more of someone when they don’t pretend to be a know it all – because that is…annoying. Be quick to ask for clarification and let them see how much you love to listen and learn. I was recently talking to this incredible woman who has been a CEO of multiple massive brands.. I got so excited talking to her and learning from her I got so in the zone asking questions. She stopped and told me how much she loved that I loved to learn and not pretend to know everything. To her it was refreshing. It felt good to hear that and I think just being YOU will be refreshing to people. And if anyone makes you feel dumb for not knowing then honestly don’t do business with them anyway. I have zero time for doing business with egotistical people who think they are better than others because they have X title or X income or X level of education… and if saying I don’t know is a quick and easy way to see someone’s true colors than more the reason to say it.
It is a journey to get to the point of truly knowing yourself, reading your body’s queues, and knowing your patterns… so don’t feel defeated if that feels daunting. I am always going to be working on it and don’t think anyone is every truly there in all aspects of life. We all will always have our strengths and weaknesses and that is okay. Love you guys!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo
